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Stuck In Survival Mode

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July 23, 2024
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I was talking with a couple when the wife described how she feels stuck every day and like she is just barely surviving. I pulled out the picture below and explained the two triangles. The triangle on the left is healthy daily functioning. The width of each section represents how much time is spent in that category. The triangle on the right is where she was.

stuck in survival mode

“Oh yeah, that’s me. I’m just trying to survive every day.”

Her husband’s jaw hit the floor. He had no idea. Part of our work became educating him on how multiple past traumas had affected his wife’s brain and how that showed up in her day to day relationships, sense of time and communication.

Feeling Stuck

Many people describe survival mode as “feeling stuck” or like a “hamster on a wheel going round and round.” Things feel dull or even grim, and certainly lacking any spice or zest for life. This can also lead to substance use to attempt to feel something better, or worse, substance abuse to feel nothing.

Oftentimes, survival mode is the result of some kind of change or adjustment in your life or daily routine. However, it can also be a feature of PTSD symptoms and the result of a single traumatic event or multiple past traumas.

The longer you are in survival mode, the more havoc it will wreak on your health – hormonally, neurologically, emotionally, and physically. If you’re not eating right, not getting enough exercise, and not connecting with your friends and family, of course you’re going to feel down and “blah”.

It can be tempting to find familiarity and comfort in this place. Being stuck can become a crutch that prevents moving forward with needed changes. This is the downward spiral where everything eventually gets worse.

Getting Out of Survival Mode

You’re stuck. So now what? Getting out of survival mode will take you a lot longer than it did to get into it. The events that have contributed to being stuck must be re-examined and re-interpreted.  

Survival mode feels overwhelming and intimidating. Therefore, small changes matter. Changes in mood and effort count. The sooner your mindset changes from “can’t” to “can” the better. Here are some tips that might help:

  • Identify negative beliefs. What you believe about yourself and the world around you drives everything that happens with your thinking, feelings, and actions. Those beliefs can come from negative events of the past as part of that memory. Identifying these negative beliefs and where they came from is the first step in reversing survival mode.
  • Seek out connection. Connecting with others may seem like the last thing you want to do. But it may be the best thing you can do. If your focus is only on you and your suffering, that could be part of the problem. Part of getting unstuck is bouncing ideas off of others. Finding ways to be with and serve others changes your focus in a positive direction. Seeking out counseling or a mentor is also a way to create connections.
  • Diet, Sleep, Exercise. These three will greatly improve your ability to deal with the events that led to being in survival mode. Three 10-minute walks a day will make a huge difference. Avoiding sugary drinks, eating more protein, and drinking extra water will be helpful to your body. Getting at least seven hours of sleep every night will allow your body to heal and recover both mentally and physically.

Related: Diet. Sleep. Exercise.

Survival mode is one piece of a much larger issue. Shifting out of survival mode will not happen overnight, and it will take a lot of work. We can help you get unstuck. If you’re ready to challenge your survival mode, give us a call.

Todd Call
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